Left Behind

When everyone moved I stayed still. Others said they felt the call and they were ready for the next stage in their lives, but I didn’t. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. They all moved away rushing to their new lives, new classes, new friends; and I was left standing alone my only change the computer sitting in front of me where I could take classes from home and a job baking bread and cookies in the back of a bakery all alone.

I try to keep in touch with old friends whos lives are as alien to me as another planet. I send close friends who I know how to contact the stories I’ve written wishing to know how they react to the surprises I have hidden for them, but how can a friends story compete with homework and tests?

I don’t blame them. I say I understand. I do. But it doesn’t make the loneliness any better.

What else am I to do?

Is this the price I must pay for my safety? To keep safe because my heart was damaged? Will I be forced to hide inside until this pandemic somehow ends? If it ever does. Some say that it’ll be better when the pandemic ends and I can go to an actual collage campus, but will it?

Leaving home and being on my own scares me more than any virus ever could.

Am I destined to leave one uncertain fate for another that’s just as frightening?

Am I destined to be alone forever?

Am I destined to be forgotten by time my words left to gather dust never to be seen by a living soul?

Never to change people’s hearts?

Never to help people understand me?

Am I destined to have other people’s ideas of me define me forever? Never giving me a chance to tell my own side of things?

If you want to learn about me. If you want to know who I am then read my stories.

All of them hold pieces of me.

And please.

Please comment when you do.

Let me know that I’m not alone.

Let me know that you care.

Let me know that you-or at least someone- likes the hidden secrets in my writing.

Likes my jokes and twists and characters.

Please.

Let’s not be alone anymore.