The Surprise

When I woke up the next morning light was starting to stream through the window. For a moment I wasn’t sure where I was but then I remembered what had happened and where I was. I kept my covers over me for a minute then forced myself to get up. 

I looked around remembering that I hadn’t brought any clothes with me and I wondered what I should wear. I went up to one of the dressers and to my surprise found that there were cards on each of them with each of our names. I went to the one with my name and opened the top drawer. Inside I found jenes,a blue t-shirt, clean underwear,and socks. I changed into the clothes stashing my own in the bottom drawer which was empty. 

I spotted a paper on top of the dresser that I hadn’t seen before. I picked it up and saw it was a schedule. 

Activity	Time	Place
Breakfast	7:30-9:00 A.M.	Cafeteria
Check In	9:00-9:30 A.M.	Cafeteria
Treatment	9:30-11:00 P.M	M. H. Building
Lunch	11:00-1:30 P.M	Cafeteria
Freetime	1:30-6:00 P.M	Anywhere
Dinner	6:00-7:30 P.M	Cafeteria
Freetime	7:30-9:00 P.M	Loge
Curfew	9:00 P.M.	Loge or designated areas

I scanned the schedule and instinctively reached for my phone to check the time panicking when I couldn’t find it. I opened the drawer intending to look in my pants pockets for it when I remembered that I no longer had one. Looking around I found a clock hanging on the wall above the door. It was 7:05. I still had 25 minutes until breakfast. Turning the schedule over I found a map saying the names of all the different buildings. I found the M.H. Building and saw it was one of the biggest along with the Loge.

I went to my pack and pulled out the picture of my family. My mother on one side with me in front of her my older brother who went off to college in another country for a foreign exchange program and my father standing next to my mom. He had died when I was young from heart disease. I put the picture on my dresser.

I pulled out my notebook and a pencil. I looked at the date of yesterday to find today’s and wrote down what had happened last night. The large buildings here,the teens who had given us a standing ovation,Mrs.Lenans speech, my new friends,Vinessa leaving,and my room. I turned the page, wrote down the schedule and tried to draw a quick sketch of the map on the back of the page. 

I looked up at the clock and saw that it was 7:33! I put my pack notebook away, picked up the schedule and my rubbing rock and rushed out to breakfast.

***

I looked at the door for the umpteenth time during breakfast. Vinessa hadn’t been there when I arrived but I had quickly found the new friends we had made last night. I looked down at my waffles with powdered sugar and tried my best to stop my out of control thoughts.

Where is she? Did something happen to her? Why won’t they say where she went? Why won’t they say why we’re here? Did she have to run away and is lost in the woods? Should I go looking for her? How do I find her in this huge place? 

I hid my hand under the table and squeezed my small rock until my knuckles turned white. I could feel myself shaking even though it wasn’t visible,it was small and deep; within my very bones and muscles.

“Hey; you ok?” Brooklyn asked looking at me. 

I forced a smile on my face. “I’m fine,just… worried about Vinessa.”

“Well you don’t need to be.” she said with a comforting smile. “We wouldn’t call it a surprise if it was bad.”

I nodded and looked at the door again.This time a group of people walked in and I spotted Vinessa in the crowd. She waved at me smiling as if she had just found out it was Saturday when she thought it was monday. I forced myself to stay in my seat and wait for her to come over even though I wanted to run up, hug her and ask her a million questions.

She came over and we hugged after she put her food down. I turned to her once she sat down.

“Don’t spoil it!” Brooklyn said to her before I could even start my question.

Vinessa looked at her incredulously. “As if I’d ruin that! Sorry Megan, you have to find out the surprise on your own. I’m not saying.” She zipped her lips closed,locked them, and threw away the key. 

I looked at them all, they smiled at Vinessa. She smiled back at them all and nodded as if they asked her a question without speaking. I looked down at my food and kept eating; apparently I wouldn’t get answers from Vinessa. I hadn’t realized how much I had been relying on that. Now I felt as if I was back at the beginning. Alone without any information.

A woman came down the aisle and handed Vinessa and I small cards that looked like credit cards with our pictures on them. I turned to Brooklyn and asked what they were for.

“Ohh yay! Those are Cred Cards! They let you buy things at the stores! We should totally go during freetime.Show you two around!”

“Don’t Credit Cards you have to pay interest on them? I don’t have any money.” Vinessa said confused.

“Not Credit cards. Cred cards”Mia said “they’re pretty much like debit cards only without real money. The better grades you get during school the more credits you get for the next term.”

“Cool!” I said smiling. Finally, stressing myself out about my grades- constantly- got me something! I distracted myself by thinking about what there might be in the shops, thinking of things I needed. I rolled my shoulders hearing my back pop remembering how it was always sore and hoped that one of the shops had a back massager. 

After breakfast Vinessa and I went to the Loge so I could show her our room. She stepped into our room and smiled at the view from the window. She looked at the bunk beds. 

“Can I have the top?” she asked. I nodded.

I was glad to have Vinessa back with her contagious smile taking an edge off my nerves that made me so tense. She climbed to the top of the beds and motioned for me to join her. I climbed up the ladder and sat with her looking down at our room.

“Sooo…where did you go last night?” I asked hoping for an answer.

“There’s a building called the M.H building over that way.” she said pointing down through the window to a path I hadn’t seen before in between the cafeteria and the shops leading into the forest.

“It’s really big.” she continued “They built it out there because it doesn’t really match the look of all the stuff here, it’s more modern and industrial looking and stuff.” 

“Vinessa,the schedule says that we go to the M.H. building for treatment. Do-do we have a disease?”

She looked down at her hands. She nodded.

but…I don’t feel sick. 

“I can’t tell you anything else.” she said, “you need to head out soon anyways.”

I looked at the clock and saw she was right I had to leave in two minutes to get to the building on time.I looked at her as we both got down, pleading. Fear was creeping into me and I felt prickles slide across my skin.

Vinessa pulled me into a hug. Warm,gentle,strong. “How long have you been afraid?” she whispered in my ear.

“Is it bad?” I asked “The surprise?”

“Don’t be scared of it…or maybe you should,might make it even better.”

She let go. The words still ringing in my ear.

I went out the door and down the stairs. Outside it had gotten warmer and the sun had risen over the peak of the mountain. I went to the paved path Vinessa had pointed to in between the shops and the cafeteria.

I saw more people walking up the path toward the building beginning to poke through the trees. I debated running off into the trees but decided against it; I had to know.

Vinessa had been accurate in her description of the building. It was large and white with large doors in front of it. It was so abrupt that I stopped to stare at it a moment. Then I went up the steps and through the front door.

***

The lobby was large and had lots of people roaming about some of the newer people like me standing around nervously whispering to each other. 

“Where do we go?”… “what do you think’s gonna happen?” …“one big guy said it hurts but another said he was lying.”

I rubbed my smooth rock in my hand and looked around trying to figure out what I was supposed to do. I spotted a large desk like the sort in hotels and walked up to it. There was a neatly dressed woman with her brown hair in a bun. 

“Hello dear what can I do for you?” She asked with a smile.

“Uh..Hi, I’m.. uh.. new. My schedule said to come here for treatment or something…” I gripped the rock in my hand tightly “do you know where I’m supposed to go for that?”

“Oh right! The new arrivals! I was wondering why there were so many people milling about here.So sorry!” She turned to the computer “what’s your name?”

“Megan Willington”

“Aha! There you are Megan! Let’s see here you are with Ms.Morgen. She should be waiting for you in room eight right down the hall!”

“Thank you!” I said smiling.

As I walked over to the hallway to the left of the desk I could hear her calling out to the other new arrivals who were milling about. I walked down the hall lined with doors and searched for room number eight. 

I found the room with the door open and I carefully poked my head around the corner to look in staying partially hidden by the wall. I realized at some point I had risen to my toes to walk more quietly down the hall. 

I wasn’t sure what I had been expecting to see in this room but a couch with blankets and a table with puzzles and a box of tissues wasn’t it.

There was a woman in white scrubs with light brown hair sitting at a computer facing away from the door. I hesitantly stepped into the room. I mustered up some courage.

“H-Hello?” I said my voice sounding thundurus compared to the blessed silence.

The woman turned from her computer and faced me,her face growing into a warm smile. She had light brown hair and bright green eyes. She stood up.

“Oh! Hello there,I’m Ms.Morgen what’s your name?”

I answered simply even though I wanted to start asking a million questions. I felt so tense that my back was starting to hurt and I had to keep my mouth closed to stop myself from demanding answers to the questions in my mind.

“Megan.”

She nodded. “ Nice to meet you! Can I see your wristband please?”

I held it out and she looked at the information noting something on a clipboard by the computer. I decided I should probably ask some of my questions but before I could say a word Ms.Morgan went out the door telling me to follow her.

I followed her out the door going down the hallway in silence as we passed corners and went through doors. I tried to keep track but quickly got lost in all the halls. 

“Where are we going?” I asked trying to keep my voice steady.

“We need to get you an MRI scan real quick before we start your treatment.” she said pleasantly.

“What’s an MRI again?” I asked drawing a blank.

“It’s a machine that scans you using magnetic pulses and radio waves to get a good look at the inside of your body. We’ll only be doing your head though.”

Ms.Morgan stopped at a door. “Do you have any earrings or metal on Megan? The magnetic field is very strong.”

I looked at myself I didn’t have any metal on except the zipper of my pants, my Cred card and room card in my pockets. I instinctively felt a spike of panic at not finding my phone before I reminded myself that I no longer had one. I showed her my cards and my small rock; she took my things putting them in a small locker by the door. She opened the door to the room and we stepped in.

The MRI was large and took up much of the room. The machine was white and cylinder shaped on its side with a small hole in it. In front of the machine there was a bed connected to the cylinder with tracks and lifts under it so the bed could move into the hole.

Ms.Morgan went over to the machine and looked it over pressing a button and making lights come on and a whirring sound start. She moved to the bed, placing a pillow on the place nearest the hole into the machine.

I stood by watching nervously. My hands had too much energy in them without my rock to rub and I pressed my thumb nail to my fingertip trying to have the pain distract me. My arms felt tense and they moved closer to my body as if to protect me. I folded my arms wincing at how cold my hands were. I took a deep breath.

It’ll be alright. I hesitantly stepped up toward the MRI and looked into the hole. I could see what looked like a plastic cage that looked big enough for a person’s head to fit in and a mirror above the cage so the person could look out. 

“Alright; can you lay down right here for me Megan?” Ms.Morgan said with a smile patting the bed.

I nodded and obediently laid down on the bed, ignoring the pain in my back. I gripped my hands together nervously on top of myself. Relax I told myself in my head trying to feel more comfortable.

Ms.Morgan smiled comfortingly at me. “Don’t worry, Mary here is nice.” she said patting the machine. “She’s just a tunnel with cameras in it who likes to sing weird songs to the patients. All you have to do is lay there and keep your head as still as possible so the pictures are clear.”

I smiled. Ms.Morgan pressed a button on the side of Mary and the bed I was laying on rose toward the hole. The plastic cage I had seen when I had looked in came out and rested over my head but didn’t touch me. Ms.Morgan adjusted the mirror on top so I could see out at the rest of the room. Ms.Morgen pressed another button and the bed I was laying on moved along with the cage into the hole.

I only went in to my shoulders the rest of me out in the room. Hello Mary. I thought to the machine looking up at it in the dim light. I hear you’re going to sing me a song. 

I heard a whirring sound start up and a clunking sound started along with it. It continued getting a bit louder than I would have liked but I focused on not moving my head. I glanced up at the mirror and spotted Ms.Morgan out of the side of the hole.I liked that I could see her; it let me know I wasn’t alone. I gripped my hands trying in vain to warm them up and give them something to do.

After about twenty minutes the bed moved again and I came back out. I sat up blinking in the bright light and got down from the bed standing up. My hands felt unsteady without my rock and I wanted to get it back in my hands. Ms.Morgan stepped in front of me.

“Megan can you do something for me?”

“What?” I asked acting like I didn’t want to get out the door as fast as I could to get my rock back.

“Hold out your hands,like this.” she held her hands up palms facing the ground.

I lifted my hands my fingers curled into fists as if they were trying to hide. I slowly uncurled my fingers wincing even though it didn’t hurt. I held out my hands fingers out. My fingers twitched my pointer finger jumping up and down uncontrollably one of my thumbs jumping back toward my palm. I closed my eyes looking away.

That was why I used my rubbing rock all the time, if I kept my hands moving all the time I wouldn’t have to see them shaking. Ms.Morgan took my hands in hers,they felt warm compared to my frozen ones.

“Megan, you have moderate to severe Anxiety.”

I opened my eyes and looked down at her hands holding mine. I wasn’t surprised by the diagnosis, I had suspected as much for months. I stared at her hands holding mine and my grip tightened squeezing as if I could grasp the strength inside them, absorb it.

What’s it like? I wondered What’s it like to be strong? What’s it like to not be afraid?

“It doesn’t have to be like this.” she said to me compassionately “You’ll get through this, we’re here to help get you through this. It’ll take time and a lot of patience and hard work but I’m here to help you. You don’t have to do this alone.”

I looked up at her crying;for months I had felt alone with everything. I had been too afraid of how my mother and friends would react to tell them how scared I was too afraid to ask the constant questions in my mind about whether or not they were angry or hated me even though I knew deep down that they would never hate me.

Ms.Morgan pulled me into a strong hug and I started sobbing into her shoulder. “It’ll be alright Megan. We’ll teach you how to fight it, we have ways to ease the symptoms. We’ll help you feel safe and be able to do what you love.”

I forced myself to let go and stepped back as I whipped my eyes annoyed at myself for crying. Ms.Morgan walked upto the door and held it open for me smiling. “Come on. I have something to show to you.”

I went out the door and she opened the locker handing me back my cards and rubbing rock. I gripped it in my hand and let my fingers move across its smooth surface letting the constant energy inside them have a purpose.

Ms.Morgan led me down a hallway and through some doors to another hallway lined with doors at the end of the hall she opened a door into a room. 

The room was dim with soft blue lights on the walls shining toward the ground. A desk stood with a computer next to the desk. There was a large rectangular box lying next to it that reminded me of a coffin. I stepped into the room looking at the strange box. I saw that inside there was a pillow and bedding that looked like the memory foam on the bottom of shoes. 

Ms.Morgan stepped up to the computer and booted it up logging in with a password. 

“How do you spell your name Megan?” 

“M-e-g-a-n W-i-l-l-i-n-g-t-o-n.” I said spelling it out. She typed it into the computer.

“Alright here you are!” I looked at the screen and saw my picture from school along with my information and medical history. She reached down and opened a drawer taking out a sheet of wax papers with electrode stickers on it. She motioned to the bed and I sat down. She set to work putting on stickers though not as many as they had back at the transport center.

“Didn’t you already do this at the transport center?” I asked as she put on the stickers.

“Yes, but that was just to make sure the tests were accurate and since your mind and thoughts change we need to see what you’re feeling now not just back at the center.” 

She connected some gray wires to the stickers on my head. I looked at the pillow and saw that there were wires that were connected to the box that the bed was on. Why wasn’t she connecting those wires to the electrodes? The ones she was connecting led to the computer by the monitor.

She went over to the desk again and opened another drawer pulling out another sheet of stickers only these ones had a blue pattern on them instead of the red ones she had just put on me. She started putting those to my head as well.

I glanced at the drawers she had taken them out of and saw that there were labels on them. The one she had taken the first electrodes out of had the label Scanner I looked at the one below where she had gotten the blue ones and saw it was labeled Transmitter.

Transmitter? Transmit what? I wondered nervously rubbing my rock in my cold hands.

I glanced at the computer and saw that there was what looked like a rectangular graph filling half of the screen with lines jumping up and down like the spikes on an earthquake reading machine. Scans from the electrodes.

Ms.Morgan put her warm hands on my shoulders and I realized that they were high and tense and I tried to get them to relax. She pulled out some of the blue transmitter electrodes and a small box with skinny wires like on old earbuds I’d seen sticking out of it. She stuck some of the blue electrodes to my shoulders and on my back connecting the small wires to them.

“Lay down” she said patting the pillow behind me. I laied down and she started connecting the wires I had seen before to the electrodes she had put on my head. I gripped my rock in my hand so hard it hurt but it was a welcome distraction from the thoughts racing through my head.

What are these things? What will they do to me? Will they hurt me? What does transmit mean? Is this some sort of mind control? Should I ask her what will happen? What if she gets mad at me? Please don’t hurt me!…

If I had been alone I would have tried to talk to myself or comfort myself somehow but I didn’t want to look strange to Ms.Morgan. I stuck to my thoughts to try and calm myself down.

Easy,Easy honey. I thought imagining someone saying it to me to calm me down. Easy, everything will be alright. Nothing will hurt you,I promise.

Ms.Morgan walked upto the computer and I saw number sequences on the side next to the graph showing what the scanning electrons were seeing. She clicked on one of the sequences and another graph appeared under the one already there with lines that were smaller and less jumpy. For some reason she said a number.

“Sixteen” She clicked on the play button in front of the graph.

I gasped in shock. The fear I had been feeling just before had vanished along with the pain in my back from my tense muscles. I let out a deep breath as I felt my entire body relax. It felt strange to have my body just laying there all relaxed. I hadn’t felt like that for so long it was odd,it was amazing but…odd.

I felt tears of relief and joy fill my eyes. Ms.Morgan looked over at me a shy,knowing smile on her face.

“How’s it feel?”

I closed my eyes, basking in the bliss of the moment. I never wanted it to end. 

“This…this is beautiful”

Thank you! I thought thank you whoever created this! You are now my new favorite person! 

Ms.Morgan let me lay there and enjoy the rest and relaxation. She brought a blanket from a cabinet and put it over me because it was cold; not that I would ever complain about the cold when I felt like this. It was enough for me to not be in pain and be able to let it all go.

So this is why no one told me I thought a smile on my face. Makes sense, I’d never ruin this for anyone not in a million years.

I moved a bit just to make sure I could with my body feeling so relaxed almost like it was asleep. My hands felt so steady without their constant shaking. I looked up at the computer screen and saw that the lines on the top graph from the scanners were identical to the ones on the bottom transmitter screen. I smiled at the computer on the desk.

I still had questions about things- one of which was how in the world I had never heard about this thing-but they could wait, for now I had only one job that I was planning on doing.

Relaxing.

I laid in bed as I heard the alarm go off in my moms bedroom across the hall. I could hear her moving around in her room but I still laid there. Pretending,Wishing,Hoping.

A part of me wanted to roll over and try and go back to sleep, but I knew I had to get up for school. That wasn’t the reason I stayed lying in my bed though. I stayed in my bed because I knew that if my mom saw me, seemingly, still asleep she would come over and rub my back to wake me up.

She would touch me. Something longer than a hurried half hug as I or her ran out the door. Something more solid than all the times I daydreamed of someone giving me a hug. More comforting than the imagined hands on my shoulders that I sometimes thought of to try and tell myself that I was safe. More stable than my own, cold, trembling hands that I would try and use to lull myself to sleep at night.

It had been so long since someone had held me or hugged me and said that everything would be alright. So long since someone had just hugged me to help me feel safe. So so long.

I saw my mom come into the room; light from the hallway making her look like a silhouette. I closed my eyes as she got closer so she wouldn’t see I was already awake.

Please. I thought Just a bit.

She put her hand on my back and rubbed it as she spoke. “Emma it’s time to wake up.”

I stayed still for a moment not wanting her hand to leave me. Wanting it to stay there for just one more moment. 

But then she pulled her hand away and left the room trusting me to get up and get ready. I laid there for one more moment remembering the feeling of her warm hand on my back trying to recreate it so I could feel the touch for just a little bit longer.

Finally I sat up and went to get ready for the day knowing that I would remember those moments when my mothers warm hand had touched me and try to imagine them into existence because that was the only thing I would get that day besides side hugs and high fives.

Teenagers don’t get eight hugs a day. They get moments they wish could stay.

New Arrivals

We followed the groups of teenagers down the hallway through the door and up a set of stairs leading out of the garage. I took a deep breath and focused on keeping up with the rest of the kids as we instinctively ran up the stairs. I didn’t think of anything else besides staying with the group; I was afraid of where my mind would take me if I did.

We went down some halls and then went through a final set of doors. On the other side was one of the largest rooms I had ever seen. The ceiling reached high with rafters holding up a wooden roof. In front of us was a large grouping of tables with plates and a buffet off on the left side of the room with everything from pizza to shrimp. The most surprising thing however; was the sound.

The doors opened and instantly a thundering round of applause crashed into us. The tables were filled with teenagers in street clothes and employees in white scrubs looking at us all and applauding enthusiastically as we streamed into the room. At one point people started to stand and it quickly turned into a standing ovation.

I looked over at Vinessa surprised smiles spreading across both of our faces all of us wondering how walking through a door could get us a standing ovation. In the front of the room a woman wearing a suit at a table with some adults motioned for the applause to stop and for the teens to be seated. She smiled and addressed us.

“Welcome,all new arrivals to Rigecleft; a center of operations for the Youth Safety Project. My name is Mrs.Lenan the head of Rigecleft. Here you will see that we are all like a large family,together we support each other in our struggles,find joy in each others achievements and encourage each other to become the best people they can be! 

“Here at Ridgecleft we have a large majority of clubs, activities, and education opportunities available including scholarships and apprenticeships for many different careers.Tonight and tomorrow will be a time for us to get you all integrated into our program and then you can join the activities and clubs we have for everyone!” 

“Now I won’t have you keep starving to death while I tell you all about our program! Go get your food at the buffet! New arrivals first!”

We all rushed over to the buffet table. 

The boy with brown hair and a green band shoved to the front of the line along with a few others. Vinessa and I made sure to keep out of their way and got in the back of the line. I was starving.I hoped there would be cookies left when we got there;I had always had a strong sweet tooth.

I got to the buffet and gave myself a large slice of ham, some spoonfuls of Mac n cheese,potato chips, two chocolate chip cookies and a slice of Coffee cake. Vinessa got spaghetti with meatballs, french fries, and a brownie.

“Where should we sit?” Vinessa asked

I looked around. The tables were full of teens talking loudly with their friends, eating, and laughing. It felt overwhelming to me with all the noise. I looked around for an empty spot at the tables. A movement caught my eye and I saw that a girl with long blond hair was waving at us. I looked behind me to see if she was gesturing to someone else and pointed at myself looking back at her. She nodded smiling and waved us over again.

Vinessa and I went over to the table. The people moved to make a space for us to sit at their table. 

“Hi my name’s Brooklyn!” the girl with blond hair said. “What’s your names?” 

“I’m Vinessa.”

I waved. “I’m Megan.Thanks for letting us sit with you.”

“No problem.” said a scrawny boy across the table with brown hair. “My name’s Chandler and my friend currently stuffing her face..” he said nudging a girl with black hair next to him who was eating chips . “..Is Mia.” 

Mia finished her chips and smiled. “Sorry,Hi! It’s nice to meet you!”

“Soo…what even is this place?” I asked them as I cut off a piece of ham and stuck it in my mouth. The food here was delicious! 

“A really big building!” Chandler said smiling

I smiled. “Right,but I meant why are we here?”

“That’s always been the question hasn’t it?” he said looking out into the distance, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“No, I mean why are we here?”

“To eat food,obviously” 

Vinessa started laughing so hard she almost choked on her fries. Mia had to cover her mouth to not spit out the water she had just drank and I found myself laughing at his answers too even though I was exasperated at them.

Brooklyn rolled her eyes. “Sorry about Chandler his jokes take some getting used to. Pretty much the rule of thumb is if you’re feeling down talk to him and you’ll be suffocating on laughter in ten minutes.”

Everyone erupted into laughter again. 

“The answer to your question though.” Brooklyn said “Is we won’t tell you. No one would dare ruin that surprise!”

“Don’t worry though it’s only a secret until tomorrow.” Mia said then smiled.

I looked at them. They didn’t look like they had any disease though I knew some diseases didn’t have symptoms. They didn’t hint that whatever this surprise was,was something bad. No looks or glances of fear, no secret messages in their words. If anything it was as if they were hinting at a big party or something! 

Chandler noticed me staring. He leaned forward eyes widening. “Staring contest! Three, two, one, go!”

It took me by surprise and I blinked. 

“Ha,I win!” he said, raising his fist in the air triumphantly. I saw the band on his arm. It was yellow.

I glanced at Mia who was eating a brownie. Her band was blue. I looked at Brooklyn’s armband as she picked up a piece of pizza; hers was red like mine and Vinessas.

“What’s with the different colored armbands?” I asked “or is that part of the surprise?”

“Surprise” Brooklyn said “you’ll figure it out tomorrow don’t worry about it.”

I turned to my food and kept eating feeling like I was asking too many questions. Vinessa asked them what the buildings we saw on the way in were and the pastures with the horses were.

“The small buildings are shops where you can buy things with gradecreds” Brooklyn explained “tomorrow you’ll get an ID card with credits on it. The better grades you get the more credits you have to buy cool stuff at the stores.”

“The horses are for lessons” Mia said “there are a bunch of extra curricular activities here,horse riding lessons,book clubs,drawing clubs,soccer team-”

“Mountain biking team!” Chandler interrupted “I’m on that. You guys should totally try out!” I noticed him glance down at our armbands and get a contemplative look on his face. “Maybe”

Some time went on with us eating and Vinessa and I trying to weasel out answers about what the surprise tomorrow might be. The others resolve however; was firm and they wouldn’t give us even the slightest hint, all they would say was that it was “too good to ruin”.

I was thinking of how to trickly phrase a question to get a hint of what would happen when the woman who had spoken earlier stood up and called for order.

“I am afraid that it is late and our New Arrivals feast has come to an end!” A series of growns came from the gathered teens. Mrs.Lenan put her hands up to silence the crowd. “I would like to again welcome all of our new arrivals, our staff and your fellow patients are here to help you adjust and are happy to answer any questions you may have. All new arrivals need to come up to the registration desk just outside the side doors to sign up for their rooms with a partner. No boys can share rooms with girls and vice versa.”

People started to stand up and move toward the side doors that led to a hallway. I stood up and went with Vinessa toward the side doors. I wished we could stay in the cafeteria talking to our new friends. I had felt more comfortable there.

Outside the doors there were three tables with kids getting in lines behind them to sign up for roomates. Vinessa and I got in line all the people from the buses were far more talkative now that they were full of food and out of the bus and I felt myself tense at their rowdiness. We got up to the table and the woman asked for our names which we told saying we wanted to be roommates. She wrote our names down next to a number.

“May I see your armbands please?”

We held them out and she looked at them; she turned to Vinessa. “You’re going to go with Ms.Miller to start your treatment tonight.” she said motioning behind her toward a woman who waved at Vinessa. “Do you still want to be roommates? Vinessas treatments will happen every night.”

“Umm…” Vinessa glanced at me worried. “Yes I’ll be her roomate”

Vinessa smiled at me and gripped my hand with hers. I flinched feeling her warm skin hating how cold my hands were. I felt cruel being so cold when I wanted to comfort people.There was nothing kind about the cold. 

We moved off to the side of the line. The woman Ms.Miller waived for Vinessa again. My new friend gave me a worried look and I pulled her into a hug.

“If you’re not back by lunch tomorrow I’m coming looking for you.” I whispered in her ear.

“Thanks. I’ll look for you too if you don’t show. Do..do you think it’s bad?”

“I don’t know. The others didn’t seem worried. I’m probably just freaked out.”

“I’ll see what I can find. See you tomorrow” Maybe.

“See you tomorrow.” Maybe.

Vinessa went to Ms.Miller and was led out the door into the darkness. She looked back at me before leaving and I forced a smile of encouragement. I hoped it wouldn’t be needed.

***

An older man named Logan led the rest of us out of the large cafeteria building out to an even larger building with bedrooms called The Loge. It had the same stone outside and wooden roofing as the cafeteria. He gave us key cards and sent us upstairs to find our room numbers. I looked at my key card. My room was number 324. I looked at the landings and found that there were signs that had numbers on them. I went to the third floor and found a sign that said 300-350. I went down it until I found 324 and scanned my card in the reader next to the door. A light turned green and I went inside. 

I flipped the lightswitch and saw that the room was a fair size with bunk beds, two dressers and a window looking out toward the front of the Loge and I could see smaller buildings with lights on in the distance only fifty yards away. Could those be the shops Brooklyn mentioned?

I put my bag under the bed and took off my shoes. I knew I should probably write in my notebook but I was too exhausted and worried about Vinessa to theorize. I turned out the lights, layed down on the lower bunk and finally fell asleep.

Two Weeks Later

Arfid and Cvs watched her as she ate lunch. She had a cheese sandwich,chips, and a glass of milk. Cvs was still weak from when the girl had been taken to the hospital and they had forced his attacks to stop. He would get his strength back eventually but for now he couldn’t attack the girl. 

Arfid however didn’t rest; he had to make sure that the girl kept listening to his advice. If she did then she might be able to avoid Cvs the next time he tried to attack. That ment warning her of the possible triggers in an environment where there was no threat of her actually getting attacked.

He nudged Cvs with his foot  where he was napping on the ground. He didn’t mind waking him up,the less rest he got the slower he got his strength back. 

“What is it? I’m not about to attack her, you know I’m too weak for that.” He said sitting up.

“I do. But I might need you. I’m giving her a practice run so she can learn to avoid possible triggers. If I signal you, use something subtle to let her know that it could bring you back but no attacking. She’s still recovering.”

He stood shrugging. He didn’t have the strength to anyway. 

Arfid walked over to the girl watching as she ate her sandwich seeing what could be a trigger she should learn to avoid. The sandwich was fine though the cheese could cause something if she ate it when Cvs was attacking. He shook his head the cheese would be fine and she liked it too much to avoid it just because he said it was dangerous. He looked at the other foods; the chips were fine and if anything a good source of carbs. His gaze landed on the glass of milk in front of her.

She had been having fights with her parents about drinking the milk. It was too cold for her gums after just losing her front two teeth. Milk was also very dangerous when it came to Cvs’s attacks. He pointed at it.

“The milk.”

Cvs shrugged not really caring what Arfid did when he wasn’t trying to stop his attacks. Cvs crouched next to the girl as she picked up the glass and took a drink. Right at the moment she drank he reached out and slid his hand across and touched her stomach. It was slight, so small she might not have noticed if she hadn’t trained herself to recognize such feelings. Her face scrunched up like she had tasted something sour as the cold liquid went over her gums.

“Perhaps you should not drink that.” Arfid whispered to her as she put the glass down. She glanced at the inside of her arm where a large purple and green bruise was still visible from her hospital trip last week. She pulled a trembling hand away from the glass and picked up a chip casting a suspicious glare at the milk.

She looked up at the sound of her mother getting ready for the day upstairs. She would make her drink the milk if she saw that her daughter had not drank it all. 

“Get rid of it.” Arfid ordered “Quickly.” 

The girl stood up,gathered her paper plate and the cup and walked on silent feet across the kitchen where she threw the plate in the garbage and poured the milk down the drain making sure to wash away all of the white substance so no one would know that she had poured it out. 

Arfid watched her walk away with a satisfied smile on his face. She would not drink any more milk as long as he reminded her of how she had felt today and she certainly wouldn’t drink it when Cvs was attacking. He felt a rush of strength that made his smile widen.

“You were right you know.” Cvs said beside him.

“About what? I am right about a lot of things.”

“Her parents finally did it. They found me out.”

Arfid nodded; with their diligence and unwillingness to accept that Cvs’s attacks were the effects of stress like some were persuaded to it had only been a matter of time before they found the true culprit.

“They will try to dispose of you.” Arfid said “But as you have said there is no cure.”

“There are medicines. They will weaken me.” He said with a shudder.

“And medicines have side effects. Not to mention terrible tastes,especially to our young friend. It will not last. She will learn the truth.”

“What is that?”

Arfid watched the girl sit down and start watching TV in the room just down the stairs.

“That if she wants to stay away from you; I am her only hope.”

Don’t Think

Homework is due tomorrow,You haven’t done that essay yet and its five pages, You only have two days left for it, You don’t have a job, You don’t have money, Your parents will not like it if you didn’t do well on the ACT, You didn’t finish the math section, You’ll go to college soon, You don’t even know how to do your own hair, You aren’t healthy, why do you not eat right?, You have a disease that people don’t think are real, There’s no cure for it, What will you do when you’re alone next year and you get sick and have to go to the hospital?, What will you do when no one believes you about the disease and won’t help you?, What-

STOP!

Don’t think..D-Don’t think about that. Your book! Look at that!

What about homework,You have an essay, You have-

Don’t think, Don’t think, Don’t think, Don’t think…Read, Read the book, go there, go where none of this exists. Escape. Just for a while, just until you can go to bed and try to forget about everything.

What about how you avoid everything,what about your Anxiet-

Don’t think,Don’t think,Don’t think… Just read.

And whatever you do don’t stop.

Everything is fine. This isn’t avoidance.

It’s survival.

The Bus Ride

“Twelve…thirteen, fourteen,fifteen!” Vinessa said counting quietly “fifteen girls in the bus!” 

I wrote down the number in my book adding it to the number of boy’s we had already counted the total of people on the bus was twenty two. Seven boys and fifteen girls. Whatever this thing was girls seemed to be more susceptible to it than boys if that was any correlation. 

Vinessa had jumped right on board with my research despite the fact that she was obviously exhausted as evidenced by the dark circles under her eyes and the fact that she yawned every two minutes.

“Alright we have the number of people here and there is a different number of girls and boys which means that for whatever reason it is that we leave it isn’t equal for genders.”

“But” Vinessa countered “the Tranceport centers have multiple busses coming in and out each day there could be more boy’s as a whole but we just can’t see it on our bus.”

I nodded discouraged.We didn’t have enough information on any of this! Maybe we should look for something else?

“The armbands” I said “they’re different colors. For different people.”

Vinessa nodded her black hair bouncing. “I saw a girl with a yellow band,and that boy across the isle has a blue one.” 

“Let’s see” I said turning the page. I started writing the colors down. 

“There’s red for us” I said holding my right arm up as I wrote down red and put down two tally marks.

“Blue for the boy across us and the girl you saw” she said

“Yellow for the girl you saw… and green for the boy who hit the bag surcher when his phone was taken.”

“So we have red,blue,yellow,and green.” My new friend said “but what’s different about them? What decides who gets a red or a blue?”

“Well…what’s the same about us? We’re both reds. Why are we the same and the others different?”

“Well it’s not our gender we know that. There’s a boy behind us with a red band.”

We both looked at each other. We both looked completely different. One thing was sure,it wasn’t our looks.

“What’s your birthday?” Vinessa asked “maybe it’s based on age or birth month or something”

“I’m fourteen. How about you?”

“Same! How about birthdays? What month are you?”

“August,you?”

She shook her head “May”

“Day maybe?”

“I’m twelfth. You?”

“Fifth”

“What are you doing?” a voice asked behind us annoyed.

I turned to see a boy with a red wristband around his arm looking over the seat. 

“How old are you?” I asked

“Umm…thirteen. Why?”

“We’re trying to figure out why people have different colored wristbands.” Vinessa told him.

The boy just shrugged and sat back down in his seat. For a bus full of twenty two kids it was extremely quiet. Everyone seemed to be to scared to talk; instead just sitting quietly or staring out windows as unfamiliar scenery rushed by, no one knew how long we would be driving. It felt like forever.

“Well that crushes that theory” Vinessa said then yawned for the umpteenth time.

“Did you not sleep well last night?” I asked

“Yeah, I can never get to sleep; even if I’m exhausted”

“Well; feel free to take a nap if you wan’t. I won’t judge.”

Vinessa smiled. “Thank’s”

“Could it be the number of a certain color?” I wondered,  “I’m not sure what it’ll prove, but it’d be something.”

“How are we supposed to see what color everyone’s wristbands are? It’s not like we can walk down the aisle and ask everyone! The bus is moving!”

I stood up a bit clutching the end of the seat in front of me,with the bus moving down the road so fast even that felt dangerous. Vinessa was right,there was no way we would be able to go down the aisle asking questions. 

Maybe we don’t have to walk around to ask everyone?

“Hey!” I said surprised by my bravery “If you have a red wristband raise your hand!” 

Heads turned in my direction a few people raised their hands eagerly looking around to see who else was in their group others who did it were hesitant, unsure if they wanted to be seen or singled out. I counted them out and told Vinessa the number when I sat down. 

“Fourteen redbands counting us,” I said. She filled them out in tallys next to where I had written Red.

I stood again. “All people with blue bands,raise your hands!”

Three people with blue raised their hands. Vinessa took down the numbers. 

“All with green bands raise your hands!” I said, still holding onto the bench in front of me so I wouldn’t fall.

“Why?” an annoyed voice said to my right. I looked over and saw the green armband boy who had punched the surcher in the face. I felt myself tighten, I never liked conflict. 

“Because I want to see how many people have all the different colors of armbands.” I said quietly mustering up some courage that was quickly fleeing. “I want to figure out why we all have different colors.”

“That’s stupid” he said rolling his eyes annoyed “Shut up and sit down”

It felt like a slap in the face. I slowly sat back down in my seat. What was I thinking of doing? Do I really think I can figure out a mystery that’s so secret even the people pulled into it don’t know what it is?

“Well,do you have an idea of what’s going to happen?” Vinessa said to the boy. 

I blinked looking over at her. She was staring at the boy a few seats up and across the aisle her eyes a mask of challenge even though I could see her leg bouncing up and down with nervous energy. How had such a brave friend happened upon such a simple person like me?

“No” the boy said, “but everyone’s heard of the theories,the rumors. One of them has to be right.”

His eyes lit and on his face he held a mischievous,even evil smile. “I bet it’s aliens or a secret group of the government or something and we’re all going to be test subjects in a bunch of experiments that are too gruesome to share with the public!”

His statement drew gasps and horrified looks from people. One person-a small girl with a blue band- broke into sobs in the seat across from mine. I hunched down lower as images came to my mind along with an onslaught of terror. Around me whispers and comments started.

“What if it’s true?”…“what if we’re all being sent to our deaths?!”… “no it’s not that!” … “Why else would they keep it a secret from everyone?”… “What do we do?!”

I looked out the window to the world spinning by outside. I put my forehead against the cold of the windowpane. It was good to not have to worry about getting makeup smeared on it. My mind spun in a whirlwind of fear.

They would only hide it if it’s something bad. What if he’s right? What if we’re all going to be prisoners? What will happen to us? What will they do?

At that last thought I winced at a prickling feeling that slithered over me. I shuddered wrapping my arms around myself. Trying hard to block out images of creepy aliens and evil scientists.

If something like that happens, what’s a person like me supposed to do?

I glanced over and saw that Vinessa had scooted closer to me on the bench. I could see in her eyes that the words had troubled her too and she had started plugging her ears to block out the comments from the other passengers. I leaned over against her shoulder letting her warmth sink into me. I could feel myself shaking,but if Vinessa felt it she didn’t show it.

I clutched my smooth stone in my hand rubbing my finger across it letting the smooth surface to ease my nerves.

Nothing will happen,you’ll be alright, nothing will happen,no one will hurt you.

I took some deep breaths closing my eyes and imagined myself somewhere else… I stood in a meadow in the mountains. Alone;blissfully,peacefully,alone.The green grass was tall and soft, warmed by the sun and surrounded by trees. Out in front of me a ways was a small river of clear water trickling out of the forest. It curved out of the forest, went along the southern edge of the meadow and then disappeared into the trees again. I felt the warm sunlight on my skin letting it seep into me and warm my cold hands. I layed down in the soft grass and looked up at the sky. Nothing bad would ever happen here,nothing would ever find me here. This… this was peace.

I opened my eyes surprised by how relaxed my muscles had gotten. Had I really been that tense? I looked over at Vinessa who seemed to have calmed down a bit and was slowly taking her fingers from her ears. The bus conversations had died down a bit and now it was just whispers mixed with a few sobs from the girl across from us and a few others.

I picked up my notebook and turned to Vinessa. “No matter what happens,we stand up for each other ok?” 

Vinessa nodded. “I was thinking maybe the Tests could tell us what will happen? I mean they’re how we get chosen for all of this. Maybe if we can figure out what they’re looking for we could find out what will happen.”

“Ok” I said nodding “what’s everything we know about the Tests?” 

I went to the next page and wrote at the head: TESTS

“Alright let’s see,everyone is required to take the tests by national law.” I said writing it down.

“I heard in my current issues class that the tests and everything started in 2026!”

I scribbled it down. “The tests are done throughout two weeks at school and you only start taking them in seventh grade or when you’re twelve.”

“They’re done every three months throughout the school year.”

“Yeah but these are just timing facts. What do they look for?”

“Which one?” Vinessa asked

That was indeed the question. There were about five different tests that were taken at school during testing weeks,and then there were the physicals that were sent in by doctors and nurses; most of the time blood tests and genomes were taken as well. 

I hope we don’t have to get our blood drawn again. I thought rubbing my arm. Needles scared me.

“Well they have all our health records.” I said writing it down. “What did the tests at school ask about? Do you remember?”

“Umm” Vinessa said thinking “they asked a lot about… moods,and motivation and stuff. Kept asking whether or not you still wanted to do things you liked.”

“Yeah,I remember that too. There was also some stuff on physical conditions,like if you got headaches or had cold hands and things.” 

I remembered that one because my hands were always freezing so I had answered ‘yes’ always’ to that one. I looked down at my hands and spotted that my fingernails were a shade of purple! I put my hands together and rubbed them, they felt as cold as ice, this was as normal an occurrence for me as my back pain while lying down. An almost unconscious fact of life.

“Speaking of cold hands” Vinessa remarked watching me rub them to get rid of the purple color.

“I can never seem to get these things to warm up.” I said putting them in between my crossed legs to warm them. “Hopefully wherever we’re going has corn bags”

“And a bed” my new friend said yawning again.

We went over all the different questions we could remember searching for any reason we could think of for why we had to leave,where we were going,and why. After a long while of talking we still had nothing concrete. The most hopeful theory was that it was some sort of research study. 

I wish I had a watch. I thought. The sky outside had begun to darken and I was starting to get hungry, everyone used their phones to tell time now days but without them now none of us knew what time it was. 

Most of the people on the bus had fallen asleep supposing the ride to just go on forever. We had stopped a long time ago at a place that seemed delegated for the purpose of the program. An empty parking garage that led to a room with tables,pizza and bathrooms. I had gone to the bathroom but hadn’t eaten much of the pizza;I was too worried about what would happen. After we had eaten we got right back on the bus and kept driving. 

Vinessa had stayed awake with me too, even though she looked just as exhausted as I was-possibly more so- she seemed unable to rest. I laid my head back against the seat trying to possibly get some sleep or at least try to relax. I closed my eyes breathing deeply to try and relax my muscles.

My shoulders relaxed,my arms falling limp at my sides. I embraced the darkness behind my eyelids longing for the escape of sleep. My nerves on the other hand had other ideas.

Small shocks ran up my legs making me tense. It was as if my nerves were shocking me. It didn’t hurt too much, but they were annoyingly persistent. I clenched my hands into fists wincing at the shocks that kept persisting almost like a tingling.

I gasped sitting up. I would never get to sleep like this. I looked over at the people across the isle longingly wishing I could escape into sleep like them. Vinessa followed my gaze to the sleeping teens.

“I wish I could too.” she said sadness in her eyes. Vinessa had tried to sleep a few times at my urging but had always woken up soon after drifting off. I scratched my back; a subconscious act to try and get rid of the tension in my muscles; my mother had always complained about all the holes I would dig with my fingernails.

No, she does complain about it. I told myself stubbornly.

I looked past the sleepers out the window and saw that we were getting off of an exit ramp. The land outside was a forest of evergreens and oaks with mountains to the east and a lake in the distance to the north. We got off the ramp and went to the east.

We didn’t drive for too long when a kid suddenly yelped. “Look!” 

I looked up and saw a cluster of buildings in the distance near the lake. Around the cluster of buildings I thought I saw in the darkness, fields of crops and a pasture for horses. 

The bus went right toward it. We rumbled across a bridge spanning a river that fed the lake from a canyon to our right, we went into the cluster of buildings and went toward the largest of them, an enormous structure that looked almost like a castle all made of stone. We turned a corner and went down a tunnel following another bus into the darkness of an underground parking garage. 

We stopped parking along with the other buses. Out the windows to my right I could see doors that kids from other busses were going through. I counted four busses in total.

“We’re here.” I said quietly to Vinessa. I looked at her worried gaze and matched it with my own. 

A man in white scrubs like the ones back in the Transport center stepped onto the bus through the door. 

“Alright follow me, please!” 

Kids started waking their friends and telling them that we had arrived. I gathered up my things and put them in my bag,Vinessa did the same. She turned toward me holding out her hand toward mine.

“Whatever happens we stick together.” she said.

I took her hand nodding. “Together”

Hand in hand we went out the doors of the bus, and into uncertainty.

Arfid and Cvs are diseases and cannot be seen by people. Only heard by the one they protect.

***

Arfid watched as Cvs backed off slowly letting the small girl laying on the couch go. The girl didn’t lift her eyes to meet her parents who had watched helplessly waiting for the attack to stop. 

“I’m sorry” she said shamefully even though she was the victim of the attack.

“It’s alright dear. You can’t control it” her mother said as she took the bowl from her child’s hands.

The child laid back on the couch exhausted. Arfid stepped up closer to her. Sick, exhausted, confused, and frightened. Just the kind of person who needed his help and would listen to his advice.

Cvs looked at him as he stepped closer. “What are you doing here Arfid? Come to get her brother to not eat his broccoli?”

Cvs and Arfid didn’t like each other much. Cvs wouldn’t like him any more after what he was about to do.

“No” Arfid said calmly, “I’m here for the girl.”

Cvs launched himself at the girl and Arfid stepped in front of him, blocking his attack. Arfid heard the girl start coughing, a trigger for an attack. He looked back and whispered calmly to her.

“Easy, in through your nose out through the mouth. Stay calm.”

The child obeyed his instructions easing her breathing and holding onto his words like a lifeline. Cvs glared at him as his attack was repelled and he had to fall back.

“You are far too blatant Cvs. You have no subtlety” Arfid said “You’ll get found out like that.”

“I don’t know what you’re doing here! She already has a protector! Me!”

“Yes, but my plans depend on the fact that she lives and your blatancy could get her killed.” Arfid retorted.

“Ha! Your plans?!” Cvs scoffed “Come to get her to not eat her broccoli for a few years? I have some news for you Picky but I can last upto ten years, maybe longer.”

“And I can last forever.”

Cvs looked at him wryly “I thought the Arfid clan didn’t use their full force.”

“We usually don’t, but this was too good a chance to pass up. ”

Cvs scowled at him “I’ve driven people insane before and my clan is almost never found! We have no cure. Sure they can stop our attacks but we will always be back. I won’t take orders from you Picky”

“As I said before your blatancy will get you found. The girls parents are searching everywhere for a diagnosis, and they’re getting close.”

Concern crossed Cvs’s face. If they found out that he was the girls attacker they would do everything possible to stop him. Learn all of his signs and keep watch,take her to the hospital to stop his attacks as soon as they started. 

“That’s unlikely” He said but he sounded unsure. 

“Your clans blatantcy has made you more detectable. More and more people are detecting you. If they find you they won’t let you get close to her. They won’t let you protect her then.”

Like him Cvs had a protective urge toward this girl which was the reason for his attacks. It seemed strange that he protected her by attacking so violently.

Cvs took an eager step toward the girl and Arfid saw that she had picked up her glass of water from the ground. 

She’s thirsty from the last attack. She’s about to make a big mistake.

“Small sips!” Arfid ordered hoping she would not gorge herself on the water. He was unsure how many of Cvs’s attacks she could take.

She took a few small sips and then placed the cup on the ground. Cvs growled angrily at him. 

“She was about to take a big drink! You are stopping me from protecting her!”

Arfid turned to him. “As far as I can see the only thing she needs protecting from is you!”

Cvs launched himself at the girl again and Arfid had to hold him back.

“Cvs! You can’t protect her forever! You said it yourself that you’ll fade in ten years! I can protect her for you once you’re gone! But I can only do that if I gain her trust and the only way I can do that is by defending her from you!”

Cvs stopped his assault the words making sense to him. This way the girl would always have a protector and if what he knew about the Arfid clan was true they often brought along other protectors to secure their place.

“Will I still be able to protect her?” Cvs asked

“You will be my enforcer. You can still protect her just not as often as you maybe would have.”

Cvs sighed “Well, if what you say is true then I won’t be able to do it much anyway so I might as well go along with your plan.”

Arfid nodded “I’m glad you see it that way; now I need to see the girl. Alone.”

Cvs shrugged “I attacked a little bit ago. She’s yours for a little bit.”

He walked away still staying close but not an imminent threat to the girl. Arfid knelt down beside her.

He could hear her thoughts worrying about if she would have to go to the hospital, about how an attack could come from out of nowhere and there seemed to be nothing she could do to stop it, whether her parents were mad at her for the sickness she could not control. But mostly there was one question over and over again: Why?

Arfid held her hand. “Don’t worry my child. I’ll help you. If you listen to what I say I can make it stay away. I will teach you. It’ll be alright. I won’t let it kill you. We’ll figure this out together.”

“I will protect you. I promise.”

Two Years Later

The girl sat up slowly as not to make a sound from where she had pretended to be asleep on the couch. She kept her eyes glued on the couch across from her where her mother laid in case anything happened during the night. Her mother stayed silent as did the rest of the dark house.

“I know what you are thinking. You shouldn’t do it.” Arfid said to the girl. Cvs stood beside him waiting eagerly to attack. He had attacked her that day until Arfid had managed to get the girl to listen to his advice. It hadn’t taken long but now that Cvs hadn’t attacked for a while she was reconsidering. Her parents had taken away her water bottle keeping it next to her sleeping mother. Now she was extremely thirsty and everyone else was asleep.

The girl ignored his warnings. She slowly stood up on weak, shaking legs and stood on her toes to walk more silently. She didn’t go to the water bottle next to her mother and risk waking her but instead headed toward the kitchen in the other room.

The girl stepped silently through the house; years of practice on these silent missions telling her to stay on the balls of her feet and where every creaking floorboard was found, making her little more than a shadow in the darkness.

“You know you shouldn’t be doing this!” Arfid begged the girl. “Go back to bed.”

But yet again the girl ignored him. Her thirst was intense and she was close to her goal of quenching it. She picked up a paper cup while leaning against the counter to steady herself. She turned on the water filling her cup almost to the brim.

This will taste way better than the bathroom faucet water. She thought remembering when she was on the couch downstairs the last time Cvs attacked her a few months ago. The closest faucet was the bathroom and she had to use her hands to drink the water.

“At least just take small sips.” Arfid warned “You know what happens if you take a big gulp.”

The girl did know- all too well- what would happen, but now she was only thinking of one thing. Water. She downed half the cup in one large swig then poured the rest down the drain, throwing away the cup so there would be no evidence.

“You shouldn’t have done that!” Arfid said angrily “You know what will happen now!”

The girl layed back down on the couch exhausted from her short trip but glad she had quenched her thirst. I don’t care. 

Arfid sighed angrily. He couldn’t protect her if she wouldn’t listen! Cvs started creeping towards the girl and Arfid didn’t stop him. If she didn’t listen and did something to trigger one of Cvs’s attacks he was allowed to attack. That was the deal.

Cvs placed his arms around the girl and squeezed her in an iron strong grip around the middle. Her eyes widened as she gagged and reached for the bowl at her side. The sound woke her mother who sat up and came over once she was done.

“You drank water again didn’t you?” Her mother asked annoyed. The girl nodded shamefully. “I’m sorry. I was just…so thirsty!”

“You have to learn not to do these things! Every time it happens you get sick again!”

To reiterate the point Cvs squeezed the girl again making her reach for the bowl in her mother’s hands. Arfid stepped closer to the girl telling her how to relax and get him to ease his grip. Cvs glanced at him annoyed but relaxed his grip and took a step back. 

Arfid placed a hand on her shoulder. She was still trembling. “You shouldn’t do these things.” He said sternly, “You have to learn to listen and obey. If not..” Cvs took a step closer and the girl flinched sensing his presence. Arfid shooed him away. “You know what happens” He finished gently.

Her mind spun grasping at the words and absorbing them, making them part of her very being. She wouldn’t disobey him again. She knew that he was right. She trusted him completely.

 Arfid felt a rush of energy and strength. He smiled.

Three Requests

The next day I sat in the car next to my mom holding my small bag of belongings as we drove to the Transport office. It had taken far too little time to collect my things since I wasn’t taking any clothes with me. I had a pathetic amount of things to take with me, all in my little drawstring, cloth bag. 

I had my diary, a family picture, my sketchbook, my pencil case, and a small flashlight. Everything else I had left home told I wouldn’t need it where I was going. In my hand I held a small, smooth, stone a bit bigger than a quarter. I had made it in my art class once and had taken to rubbing it in my hand whenever I was nervous. 

I looked out the window at my town as we drove by toward the Transport office. I wish I had more information about what would happen. It scared me how little I knew about it. I didn’t even know how we would be transported much less where.

We turned a corner and the Transport office came into view. It was a large, white building that had a lot around the side that was surrounded by chain link fencing. My mom turned into the parking lot out front and parked the car. 

My mom looked over at me and I saw that her eyes were rimmed with red which told me she had been crying too, or was on the verge of it at least. 

“I have something for you!” She said reaching into a bag on the floor. She pulled out a small book and gave it to me. The outside was made of soft,brown leather and on the inside were lines of blank paper.

“A notebook?”

My mother nodded. “No one knows what happens where you’re going” she said taking my hand, “It’s a mystery, just by going through those doors you will be seeing things no one out here has ever seen. I want you to use this notebook to write down everything that happens once you leave. Figure out what’s happening,solve the mystery!”

I clutched the notebook in my hands. Figure out the mystery. Find out what’s happening and why I have to leave. Maybe I could find a way to get the information out so other people would know what to expect when their tests came back positive.

“I’ll try”

My mom smiled pulling me into a hug. “I love you Megan, always remember that.”

“I love you too mom” I said, more tears coming to my eyes. 

Finally we let each other go, wiped our eyes and got out of the car. I held my mom’s hand as we walked in the front doors to the Transport office. The room was full of families-most of which were crying- there to drop off their kids. There was a short line at a desk to the left that my mother and I got in. To the right of the desk I could see the doors from the video I had watched. The doors no one came back from. The doors I would go through.

We got to the front of the line and my mother gave the woman at the desk my name and she checked me in on a computer. “Paisley will take you back whenever you’re ready” The woman behind the desk said motioning to a woman with dark brown hair standing by the door. Paisley waved at me and smiled, I nodded back nervously.

My mother led me aside. “Alright Megan, your mission is to go through those doors and find out what’s on the other side.” she said as if we were in a spy movie. “But, there are two rules that I want you to follow, one is don’t do anything that will get you hurt, stay safe, and two is come back. You come back to me, Megan! I don’t care when, I don’t care how, but you come back! Alright?!”

I pulled my mom into a hug and held on as tight as I could. “I’ll come back mom.” I whispered tears coming to my eyes. “I promise.”

I finally made myself let go and stepped back wiping my eyes. 

“You ready?” My mom asked.

I nodded too afraid to speak.

My mom motioned over to Paisley who had been quietly watching us. She came up to us and put a hand on my shoulder. I turned away from my mother and walked with her toward the doors.

I tried to stop myself from looking back at my mother knowing I would probably break if I did but I couldn’t and looked back at my mom standing there knowing the image would stay with me forever no matter what happend.

In front of me the gray, metal doors loomed,no one knew what was behind them. No one that was,except the ones who went through them and never came back. I took a deep breath. The doors opened automatically revealing the hallway beyond.

I stepped through the doors into the hall; the doors hissed shut behind me and I suddenly felt terribly alone and fought back my tears and the fear swelling in me. Through the door I could hear someone start sobbing. I knew without question who it was. My mother was as alone as I was.

***

I felt Paisley’s hand tighten on my shoulder as if she expected me to run.

I tried to focus on my breathing to stop the fear swelling in me. I didn’t want to be here,I didn’t want all the uncertainty of the situation. I felt my body tense up even more than it usually did (which was a lot) and tried to force myself to relax but my body and mind weren’t listening.

I let my feet move me and looked down at the ground as Paisley steered me where she chose while my mind went into hyperdrive spinning out worst case scenarios ending up with my mind spinning in a loop of thoughts.

Please don’t hurt me! Please don’t hurt me! Please don’t hurt me! Stop,Stop STOP!

I felt like screaming or crying or falling to the ground and curling into a ball until I could calm down. Back at home when feelings like this happened I would run off into my room and hide until my mind was able to calm down;but here I had nowhere to go. 

I gripped my small rock in my hand tightly focusing on its cold surface. I closed my eyes focusing on breathing deeply and relaxing. Stop! Relax I whispered to my mind you’ll be alright,everything will be fine, you’ll be alright...

Paisley led me into a room with white walls and closed the door behind her. In the room there was a cushioned chair and a wooden table with a paper,pencil, and a kleenex box. She motioned for me to sit in the chair;I sat pulling out a kleenex and wiped my eyes and blew my nose. I wasn’t worried about messing up any makeup because I hadn’t worn any, I knew I would end up crying at some point.

“Please fill out the worksheet in front of you and then we can start” Paisley said motioning to the paper.

Start what? I looked down at the paper in front of me and read. 

‘Each patient who enters our program is allowed three requests that are always to be followed in all engagements with said person. Under no circumstances are these to be violated in any way by any member of our staff.’

My heart lept inside me. I had a choice in something! I had some control! There were lines on the paper for me to right down my requests. 

Three requests I thought breathlessly Three promises that won’t be broken.

I knew what the first one would be immediately. To not get hurt. I quickly wrote on the first line: I am not to be harmed by any person or device. Then thinking of the tests and the fact that I might have a disease I added to the end. Unless absolutely needed for health purposes. 

I leaned back wondering what my other two requests should be. I felt my books in my bag pressing into my back and remembered my mother’s mission for me. To find out what was going on here. I thought about how to phrase it and wrote down my second request. 

You are to explain to me any process to be done including the why,how,and what.

At the thought of my mother tears sprang to my eyes again and I fought them back. An idea jumped into my mind for my last request. It was outlandish,and possibly unthinkable given the secrecy around everything,but I wrote it down anyway.

I am to be allowed at least one email home a week and am to receive all emails sent to me from my family with no alterations to either.

At the bottom of the page was a signature and words saying that the document was approved by the highest level of authority at the program. I pushed it across the table to Paisley who examined what I had written. She read my requests giveing me a pitying look and then stamped my paper. She stood, walked over to a computer and held up my paper. There was a flicker on the screen and a picture of my paper appeared on it.Paisley typed some things on the keyboard and the computer beeped. 

“Follow me please.” she said standing and going to the door. She led me down the hall and through another door to a hall with doors on either side. She motioned me into one of the small rooms to the left and told me to wait there for her.

The room looked just like examination rooms in doctors offices that I would go to for checkups. A padded table was by the wall with white paper on top of it. There was a sink on the other side of the room and a desk with a computer on it.

I sat down on the padded table the paper crinkling loudly as I shifted my weight. I moved my cool rock through my fingers switching hands letting the cold, smooth surface calm my nerves. 

The door opened and Paisley walked in wheeling a strange device on a pole with wires hanging down from it toward the ground. I clutched my hands into fists nervously my fingertips feeling like ice on my palm. When had my fingers gotten so cold?

Paisley had me lay down as she got a piece of wax paper with round electrodes stuck to it. As I layed on my back my breath caught in my throat as pain erupted in my back and turned my head toward the wall next to me to hide my grimace. This wasn’t new, it had been happening to me for months though I had never told anyone about it. I took some deep breaths slowly letting it out as my muscles relaxed bringing a bit more pain before relaxing completely, the pain leaving as my muscles came to a rest.

Paisley walked up to me holding the paper with electrodes stuck to it. She pulled one off and stuck it to my temple. Then pulled off another and put it on the other side continuing until I had four on my forehead and many more stuck to other parts all over my head. She wheeled the strange device with gray wires over to me and started connecting them to the electrodes she had put on.

“These won’t shock you like the things in movies” she said with a reassuring smile “they just measure brain waves.”

I let out a breath I hadn’t realised I was holding. The electrodes felt a bit strange,not bad, just strange. The cold of the adhesive on the edges that stuck it to my skin mixing with a strange, warm, tingling feeling in the middle. 

Paisley walked over to the computer and pulled some things up as the thing the wires connected to started beeping. She typed some things on the computer and watched a series of lines that appeared on it from my scan.

I started thinking trying to figure out what was going on. There had to be a reason people had to leave. The Transportation center was just the first step in something, we went somewhere after this. Where would we go? What would happen there? Why did no one return? Why was it so secret? If what was going on wasn’t bad why would it be kept so secret?

What if it is something bad? What if people never come back because they aren’t allowed to? What if everyone that leaves becomes a prisoner,or worse?! What if the conspiracy theories are right? 

I gripped my rock in my hand focusing on its smooth surface trying to calm my mind,taking deep breaths blocking the endless string of thoughts. 

Focus! I told myself What has happened to prove that something bad is going to come? Nothing. I may not know what’s going to happen, but that does not mean that whatever it is will be bad. 

I glanced over at Paisley to see what she was doing. She had a lot of different scans with the wavy lines and seemed to be comparing them to the one that still had lines appearing on the screen. My scan.

Even if what it is ends up being bad I still have the requests. They can’t hurt me. 

That thought brought me a bit more stability,even if everything went crazy with this I wouldn’t get hurt. How do you know that though? A part of my mind whispered If things go downhill and things are bad what’s a piece of paper going to do? 

I sighed not responding to the thought instead staring up at the ceiling tiles counting them to distract me. A few more minutes passed in silence,I counted the ceiling tiles to occupy my mind trying to stay in the present and stay away from the uncertainty of the future.

Twenty one…twenty two…twenty three…twenty four…

Paisley stood up from her computer and went over to the device the wires connected to turning it off. It stopped beeping. She had me sit up and she started disconnecting the wires from the electrodes wich were now cold. 

“You can pull the electrodes off now” She said going over to the computer and looking at something. 

I touched my face finding the electrodes on my temples and pulled them off. It felt like pulling off a bandaid. I stuck the two together and ran my fingers through my hair searching for others. I pulled one off my head wincing as it pulled my hair. Paisley finished with the computer and went to a drawer pulling out a sheet of red plastic and ripped a plastic armband off it. She fiddled with the band and then walked over to me as I was pulling off the fourth of what felt like thirty electrodes on my head.

“Do you want some help?” she asked with a smile seeing my obvious struggle with the electrodes.

“Uhh..yes, please” I answered timidly.

Paisley put the armband down and started gently pulling off the electrodes. She was much faster than I was and eventually I gave up letting her do the rest as I stuck the electrode stickers together. In two minutes she had them all off. 

“Can I keep one of these?” I asked holding up one of my groups of stuck together electrodes.

She shrugged “Sure, I’m throwing them away anyway.” She picked up the red armband. “You’re right handed,right?”

I shook my head, a smile coming to my face. “Nope. I’m a lefty.”

She smiled. “That’s why I ask, usually it’s the right but every once and a while you get a Lefty” She took my right arm and snapped on the wristband. It was bright red and like the kind you get at the hospital that is impossible to get off without scissors. There was a plastic tag in a slot that had my name,birth day and,today’s date. 

Paisley went to the door opening it. I took this as a sign that it was time for me to follow. I put my two electrodes in my pocket and swung my backpack on hopping off the table. I followed her out the door and down a hallway. We turned a corner and came to a line at a table where some men were searching people’s bags.

A security check. I thought. This was probably why no one had any video of what happened even if they managed to sneak in a camera. 

Paisley led me to the end of the line and motioned for me to get in. I stepped into line another kid getting in behind me. Paisley gave me a smile and a wave;then turned and walked back around the corner out of sight.

I tensed feeling the fear of being alone again. With Paisley there I had felt like there was some sort of stability and direction to what was going on. Now I was lost in my own uncertainty of what was happening. The same way I had when I went through the doors.

What’s going to happen to us? Where are we going? What if I never see mom again?

I put a wall up against the thoughts and tried to find something to focus on. I looked at the line ahead of me,there were six people ahead of me. At the front of the line there was a table where the bags were searched and another station off to the side where people got pat downs.

Five I thought counting the people in front of me to distract myself.

Three people in line tried to hide their phones. One,a girl with pink highlights tried hiding it in her pocket but was found and the phone was confiscated. The next person trying to hide theirs was smarter stuffing the phone down their bra so they couldn’t get to it ,but was found out during the pat down.She was taken off to the side until she reluctantly handed the device over. The next person who tried to smuggle a phone through the check was a tall muscular boy with brown hair. He had hidden it in a pocket of his backpack,thinking it was a secret.

“Give that back! Its mine!!” The boy yelled angrily at the man searching his bag.

The man in white searching the bags held the phone out of the boys reach. “Sorry son but it’s for your own good”

“That’s my property you have no right to take it!!” The boy said slamming his fists on the table with a loud bang. I was impressed with the man’s bravery as he didn’t even flinch,setting the phone far away and leaning closer to the angry boy.

“Listen kid,I have-uff”

The boy raised his right fist and punched the man in the face in his anger making the man stumble back. I saw a look of triumph in his eyes mixed with his rage. Two other men in scrubs came up to the boy and grabbed his arms dragging him away from the man. On the boy’s left arm I saw that he had a green wristband similar to my red one.

I glanced at the person in front of me as the line went ahead there was only one person ahead of me the girl in front of me had a red wristband as well. I glanced behind me and saw that the person behind me had a blue wristband.

What could the colors mean? They must mean something. 

I looked forward and saw the man was motioning for me to come forward. I slipped my bag off and walked upto the table. The man smiled despite the bruise he had on the left side of his head.

“Hello, what’s your name?” he asked kindly as I handed him my bag.

“Megan.” I replied

“Hello Megan will you turn out your pockets for me?”

I took out the electrodes and turned my pockets out to show I had nothing in them and showed him my rubbing rock that I had in my hand. He motioned me toward the men doing the pat downs and I stepped up holding my arms out to the sides as I had seen the others do. I clutched my rock tightly in my hand against the strange feeling of people touching me as they patted me down searching for hidden phones. I glanced over at the man searching my bag.

What if they take my notebook? What if I don’t make it through the check?!

The man put my bag on the table behind him and the searchers finished their patdown motioning for me to pick up my bag and go to the door. I picked up my bag and hurried through the door into the sunlight beyond. 

For a moment I was blinded by the light and had to stop blinking to get my bearings. I spotted a man next to a school bus waving for me to come to him. I went over to him and he helped me into the bus.

I stepped up and looked down the aisle for an open seat. The bus was full of other kids that got their Tests back positive. I spotted one of the girls who had tried to hide their phone crying in a seat,when I got close she looked up glaring and I continued down the aisle. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the boy who had punched the bag surcher and I gave him a wide berth. Finally I found a bench without anyone on it and sat down by myself next to the window.

I looked in my bag to make sure everything was still there and found everything still in their places. I pulled out the notebook my mom had given me,a pencil and opened it to the first page. 

This book belongs to Megan Willington.

I turned to the next page and put down the date then started to write everything that had happened.

I got my letter yesterday that said that my Tests came back positive. Today I have gone to the Transport center. I had to say goodbye to my family and friends and my old life. Before I left my mother gave this book to me with the mission to record all that happens to me so that is what I will do today and onward as things change around me. 

I said a tearfilled goodbye to my mother this morning and followed a woman named Paisley through The Door in the Transport center. She led me to a room with a paper in it that she had me fill out. It said that every patient that goes into this program is allowed three Requests that are never broken by anyone employed by the program. These were mine.

1. To not be hurt by any person or device unless it is absolutely essential for health purposes.
2. To have every process explained to me including-

“Can I sit by you?”

I looked up startled to see a girl with long black hair and bright green eyes looking at me nervously.

“Umm…yeah, sure.” I said nodding to the girl. She sat down on the bench next to me putting her backpack by her feet. I glanced at her right arm seeing that she had a red wristband too.

I continued writing down my three requests.

Including the why,how and what.

3. To be allowed at least one email home a week with no changes in either the messages I get sent back or the ones I send out.

I closed my book and looked over at the girl sitting next to me. 

“Sorry” I said blushing “Just had to get that down before I forgot it. What’s your name?”

The girl smiled. “Vinessa, what’s yours?”

“Megan”

“Nice to meet you. If you don’t mind me asking what were you writing down?”

I thought for a moment,should I tell her about the notebook? Or keep it to myself. 

She’s like me were both new in this, It’d be good to have a friend in all this.

“I’m writing down everything that’s happening” I said quietly to her. “My mom told me to figure out what’s going on here so I’m putting it all down in case I forget it or something happens.”

Vinessa smiled. “Sound’s cool! Do you need any help?”

I was excited by her quick offer to help me in my mission. Maybe it was the fact that it was something mysterious and exciting,though like I had found in myself thinking of what was happening in terms of a mission or mystery took away a bit of the fear of what might happen to us.

“Yes, but first. How do you spell your name?”

‘Dear Mrs. Willington,

We regret to inform you that your daughter Megan Willington age 15 has tested positive. According to the laws of Safety and Requirement article 7b sub-part 4 your daughter is to report to the nearest Transport office for departure by Wednesday the 28th of September.’

I stared at the letter in my hand. I had taken it from the stack of letters on the table. Tears came to my eyes as fear filled me. Positive. No one knew what it meant when people came back positive from the Tests. They were sent away and no one ever saw them again. My mom had seen the letter already, it had been open when I found it. The 28th was tomorrow, there was no escaping it. I looked out my window; maybe I could run, grab some things and run away somewhere so they would never find me. I looked down, I knew that I wouldn’t make it far.

My mother knocked on my door opening it. “Megan? Honey I need to tell you something.” 

She froze when she saw my face and the letter sitting in my hands that were trembling from fear. I looked away from her and started sobbing into my hands. My mom came up to me and pulled the letter from my hands to stop me from wrinkling it. She placed it on my bed and put her arms around me.

“I’m sorry honey.” she said quietly to me.

“M-mom wh-what-why-?” I started crying again.

“Breathe, dear” she said holding me away from her and I struggled to get myself under control. My mom handed me a kleenex from the box she had brought in with her. I wiped my eyes and blew my nose trying to breathe deeply and calm down.

I curled up tighter into my little ball as if I could hide from what was happening.

“M-mom wh-what’s going to happen?” I asked, frightened, tears running down my face.

My mom put her arms around me again scooting closer and I buried my face in her shoulder shaking. I let the warmth from her body seep into me. Will I never feel her warmth again?  I bit back a sob.

“It’ll be alright, Megan” she said running her fingers through my long brown hair. “Everything will be just fine.”

You don’t know that!  I thought bitterly. My fear was starting to turn into anger though I wasn’t sure what I was mad at. What did you blame for your fear if you didn’t even know what you’re afraid of? 

“Wh-what will happen? Mom what even i-is the th-thing they tested for? D-do I have a disease or something?”

“I’m not sure dear, everything about the testing and what happens is classified, but maybe the letter will give us some more information.”

She reached over to the letter, surprisingly calm and we started looking at it. When I had first read the letter I hadn’t gotten far and it had started feeling like my own death sentence; but now I looked at it scrambling for any information that might tell me what was going on and why.

It talked about the drop off process that would happen at the Transport office. Telling me that I was only allowed to bring a small bag full of prized possessions. I wasn’t allowed a phone,or any other clothes than what I would wear tomorrow. It said that my mother was to hand me over to the workers at the Transport office and they would “take care of everything from there”.They reminded us to keep our goodbyes short as they were on a very strict schedule.There was nothing about the tests, nothing about what would happen after I was handed over to the workers, and nothing about where I would be transported to. 

I hated the uncertainty of everything. To make it worse, at the bottom of the letter it said that they would give my mother two hundred dollars to “make up for any inconveniences” that made me feel like I was being bought. My mother read it and exclaimed “the audacity of them! To think of giving me money as if that makes it alright that they’re taking my child!”

It was the only sign that she was upset about everything. My mother always hides her emotions well.

My mother left me alone so she could make phone calls to my extended family that lived farther away in other states. I told her to not have them talk to me. I didn’t want to talk to anyone about it. 

I got up and walked silently over to the door and closed it. I picked up my phone from my dresser and unlocked it, going to facebook. I opened it up and sent a post:

This will be my last post.My Test came back positive and I am to leave tomorrow. I am not allowed to bring my phone,or any other clothes than what I will have on.I’m not sure what will happen,I don’t even know why this is happening.If anyone has any information that they can give me it would be very appreciated.I want to understand. 

I sent the post and then went online to look up anything I could on what would happen after I went to the transport office. Most of what came up was parents ranting about how frightened their children were and how angry they were about having to send them away. I found articles about conspiracy theories related to the Tests and what happened after people left, but they were all far fetched some of it going into things like aliens using mind control and a creepy version of population control. I found one article written by someone who had a brother who tested positive talking about what happened,but it just said the same things that the letter had told me and the author admitted that they had no idea what had happened to their brother after going through the doors in the Transport office. 

I found a video on youtube and clicked on it. It started with a family taking pictures and then had a boy a bit younger than me being led away from them by a man in white. The man led the boy who had brown hair and eyes that were large and frightened to a pair of doors off to the side and they went through to the other side the doors swinging shut blocking them from view.

I turned it off and looked at my facebook. There were lots of comments from people asking questions about how I was and hollow words of encouragement like what my mother had said. No information on what would happen.

I layed back on my bed with a sigh. It seemed like no one knew what happened. All I knew was I would walk through those doors and never be seen again. I wondered if anyone had tried to sneak a camera through the doors. If they had, no one had posted it online.

I stood and looked around at my room. I walked over to my closet and found a fabric drawstring bag that I could put my things in for tomorrow. I went to my dresser and put out the clothes that I would wear, my favorite t-shirt and jeans and a pair of fuzzy socks. I quietly went into the bathroom and took a shower letting the water fall over me and try and wash away my fears as I tried to figure out what to do. 

I walked out of the shower and changed into my pajamas. I listened outside and heard my mother crying into the phone as she told someone of my fate. I sneaked out of the bathroom and into my room. I didn’t want to talk more, I knew that no one had any answers for me. 
I turned out the lights in my room and hid under my blankets forcing away thoughts of what would happen tomorrow and trying to tell myself to just exist. But my mind wouldn’t let me and started spinning out terrifying images. I started to cry and cried myself to sleep. I was out cold by the time my mom came to check on me.

Trevor slipped through the crowded streets of the market, head down beneath his hood. Shops and restaurants spilled voices and bright lights that hurt his eyes. People walked the streets with friends or carrying bags. The noise seemed to press into him feeling like a weight he had to strain against to stop from screaming at everyone or shattering one of the windows. The pressure felt like it would crush him. 

Others didn’t seem to notice the noise around them and he wondered how they could stand the constant pressure. Apparently they didn’t care about the bright lights and loud noises that always made him jump. It didn’t hurt them like it did him; they got energy from it. Trevor only became exhausted by it.

A loudspeaker spouted propaganda next to his ear and he jerked away from it. The girl that was leading him looked back at him waving for him to follow. He nodded and kept going trying to ignore the words spoken by the speakers and written in bright letters on posters.

“EVERYONE SHOULD BE INCLUDED!…REMEMBER TOGETHERNESS BRINGS PROSPERITY LONELINESS BRINGS INSANITY!… IF YOU AREN’T LOUD YOU AREN’T PROUD!…BEING ALONE IS DANGEROUS! REPORT ANYONE ALONE TO THE NEAREST OFFICER IMMEDIATELY!… BRIGHTER! BIGGER! LOUDER!…”

Trevor stayed close to the girl squinting as light flashed out at him. He gritted his teeth to fight back shielding his eyes. Everyone walked in pairs or large groups; it was forbidden by law to be alone if you could be with another person. People were required to be in the square where there were arcades,games,restaurants,and shops. Everyone slept in communal houses,ate together, worked together in large groups,play together. No one was ever alone. The mantra of the Empire rang over the speakers and hung everywhere: “Together we rise, Alone we die.”

Trevor looked up and saw the girl had led him to the entrance of an ally next to a bread shop. He still didn’t know who she was or where they were going. She had found him sitting off to the side in a shaded part of an arcade with his head down on a table used to serve food to try and stop the flashing lights from hurting his eyes. She had touched his hand and whispered in a voice unlike anything anyone had ever said to him. So quiet. So gentle. What she said had made him follow her immediately. 

“I know where you can rest.”

Rest. He had asked her what she meant and she had explained in her soft voice. “There’s a place where it is dark and quiet. I can take you there.” She stood and walked out the door. He had followed her.

It seemed too good to be true. It seemed dangerous; a part of him said that this was wrong. He had been told all his life that being alone was dangerous, he shouldn’t be following this girl. But that word kept ringing in his mind and it pulled him along through the crowd. Rest. When was the last time he had been able to do that?

The girl moved into the dark alley and Trevor followed, his eyes soaking in the shadows like a starving man eating food. It felt wonderful. She went down some stairs hidden behind some crates and Trevor followed,his eyes adjusting to the darkness.

The girl looked back at him putting her finger to her lips.

 “Quiet”

Trevor nodded then saw her open a door that was painted the same color as the wall to disguise it. Again a voice in his head told him that this was dangerous. If this girl was taking him to a place where he could be alone in silence then she should be reported to an officer. Even being with her could get him arrested and branded an Introvert; a term reserved for criminals and rebels. 

He looked behind him at the lights barely visible from the alley. He could run and get an officer. He could show him the door and they could stop them from doing something so dangerous. He looked back at the girl wavering.

“Don’t worry we’re almost safe.” She said her blue eyes sparkling, a comforting smile on her face. He felt his body relax and any doubts flee his mind. Somehow he could tell that this girl understood what it was like for him out there where the lights and sounds threatened to crush him. Somehow he knew that they hurt her too. They were the same.

She flashed him another smile and opened the door, revealing a small room. She closed the door behind them and Trevor heard the sounds of the street get quieter. She opened another door with a golden key around her neck. 

Inside she closed the door behind them and Trevor realised something was different. It took him a moment to figure it out then he realised what it was. It was silent.

It was beautiful. 

The room they were in was large with soft blue lanterns around on tables and hanging from the ceiling. Soft chairs were arranged in corners and Trevor could see small alcoves hidden by curtains and fogged glass doors with more lanterns and soft chairs. Trevor spotted some people sitting in the alcoves reading books,doing crafts,writing,and drawing pictures. Some people talked in soft whispers as not to disturb the beautiful silence of the room.

The girl who had led him there stood on a platform up front and called in a slightly louder voice for everyone to look at her.

“Everyone! This is Trevor the newest member of the Silent Society!”

Trevor looked up and saw the people smiling brightly at him. Some waved and snapped in a form of quiet applause and welcome.The girl hopped down from the platform and showed Trevor all the things they had in their secret base such as secret entrances all around the square, all the different crafts and projects people were working on, and ways he could cope if the world outside became too loud and bright. 

He stared at it all feeling more excited and more himself than he ever thought he had. For the first time Trevor felt like he belonged somewhere. The girl who’s name he had found was Abigail gave him a golden key on a blue string. She flashed her happy smile and said the greatest thing he had ever heard.

“Welcome home.”